Long Story Short
Couples seek validation about their relationship by constantly posting pictures and comments about each other.
We all know those couples on social media – starry-eyed selfies, heart emojis all over the place, and constant updates about how in love they are.
But they could be far from blissfully happy away from those public displays of digital affection, according to one relationship expert. Sexologist Nikki Goldstein says that such couples overshare as way to compensate for insecurities or cracks within their relationships – and are seeking reassurance from their social media friends and followers.
“Often it’s the people who post the most who are seeking validation for their relationship from other people on social media,” she told Daily Mail Australia. “The likes and comments can be so validating that when someone is really struggling, that’s where they get their up from – not the person making the gesture, but what other people will say about it.”
Of course, putting up a social pretence to mask a rocky relationship is nothing new. Only now it’s out there for you 3000+ followers to see and share.
People taking photos and posting straight onto Instagram with a slew of stomach-churning hashtags could also mean trouble, as they’re likely more concerned with watching the comments and likes roll in than they are with living in the moment with their partner.
“You see people who will focus so much on taking a ‘relfie’ – a relationship selfie – and getting the right filter and hashtags that they’re missing the moment,” she says. “I think, why don’t you take a photo because it’s a nice memory and a moment you want to look back to?
“Couples are taking these photos, straight away putting them online and then watching the likes and comments instead of being with their partners.”
Hashtags or comments that include terms of endearment such as “my boy” or “my girl” – or even more hideously, “my bae” – suggest something deeper too, suggesting insecurity and good old-fashioned possessiveness.
“It looks like it’s a real big statement to say ‘hey look ladies, look guys, this chick’s mine, this guy’s mine’,” Nikki says. “Why not post a photo because it’s a happy moment or a funny photo or because it shows real happiness?
“Instead there are a lot of people out there who want to flaunt to their friends and the world that this person is mine.”
Own The Conversation
Ask The Big Question
Do you use social media as a way of hiding problems with your partner?
Drop This Fact
One study found that excessive time on Facebook can be linked with negative relationship outcomes, such a cheating and break-ups. A definite “unlike” for that.